


Nix One Bunk Bed

by meowchela



Category: Sam & Max
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2020-04-24 20:31:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19180864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowchela/pseuds/meowchela
Summary: Sam and Max redo their sleeping arrangements.





	1. Chapter 1

"What a huge mess," Sam said, looking around the bedroom attached to the office. There was debris from the wall everywhere and items knocked off shelves and dressers. Just a few hours earlier, Max had chased some criminals into their room, and a huge room-wrecking fight broke out. They defeated the criminals in the end, but during the fight their bunk bed had been slashed in two by an axe-wielding maniac.  
"Nothing unusual," Max said, "Except for the bed. That's kind of a problem."   
Sam looked closer at the beds in question. They weren't bunk beds anymore for sure, but the parts that held the mattress were fine. It was just the middle part that got hacked up.  
"You know," said Sam, kneeling down and running his hand along one of the broken wooden planks, "We could just saw the wood off the bottom of the top bunk and push our beds together to make a double bed, since we don't have much room anywhere else."  
"I call using the saw!" Max said, and when Sam didn't object, he ran out of the room and soon returned with a giant hacksaw.  
"Where did you get that, little buddy?" Sam said over the loud sawing noises.  
"Oh, you know," Max said casually. He didn't elaborate. He kept sawing.  
Soon the extra wood on the bottom of the top bunk was cut off. The edges were jagged and uneven and looked like they could stab you if you got too close, but Sam just let it be. He pushed the bed into place.  
"Voila," Said Sam as he gestured towards the beds in dramatic fashion, "A bonafide homemade double bed courtesy of yours truly."  
"Don't say 'voila', Sam," Max said. "Or bonafide. The only bones I like are human ones."  
"You crack me up, little buddy. Now let's get ready for bed before I pass out right here and now. I'm beat."  
Max jumped onto the bed. "Speak for yourself Sam," He said, "I have the energy of a thousand suns! My youth is boundless and my vitality is..." Max paused to let out a big yawn, "....everlasting." He closed his eyes and wrapped himself in a blanket.  
"Sure, energizer bunny," Sam said. He patted Max's head gently and then went to change into his pajamas.  
Once he was ready to sleep, Sam climbed into bed and pulled the covers over himself. He was just about to drift off when he felt Max's arms wrap around him. He went to sleep with a smile as soft as his breathing.


	2. Morning After (Snowy Chill)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitch bet you thought you'd seen the last of this fic
> 
> wouldv've posted this as his own thing but I didn't feel like rewriting the beginning so! time to disrupt the listing order of my fics and fuck it up completely :3
> 
> fun fact this has had a part two since when I wrote it which was *checks watch* last fucking summer  
> idk why I haven't posted it until now but uhhhhh enjoy
> 
> (ps-i'll edit tags next time im on pc its 4 am n I don't feel like dealing w that shit on my phone rn)

The next morning, Sam woke up to a foot right next to his face.  
"I didn't know you moved in your sleep that much, little buddy," He said. His voice was groggy since he had just woken up. "Your feet smell like pickles."  
Max spoke, but it was muffled since his face was buried right in Sam's side. "Your stomach smells like dank sewage but you don't see me complaining."  
Sam chuckled, then sat up. "Come on little buddy, we gotta get up. Crime won't stop itself."  
"Sometimes it does." Max lifted his head and turned it to look at Sam. His eyes were still half closed. He didn't look like he wanted to be awake. "Remember the incident in Illinois? Where the two different groups of bank robbers thought each other were staff and they just had a shootout right before our eyes?"  
"That doesn't always happen, Max," Sam said, "We were just lucky that day."  
"More like unlucky. I really wanted to bash their bank-robbing skulls in." Max flopped back down onto the bed. "Can we take a day off?"  
"No can do, little buddy." Sam got out of bed and grabbed his day clothes. "Crime stops for nobody."  
Max just made a noise of acknowledgement and hogged more of the blankets.  
Sam sighed and went into the bathroom to change into his usual suit.  
When he returned into the room, Max was still in bed.  
"You like the double bed, little buddy?"  
Max looked over from where he was laying flat on his back. "Yeah. there's a lot more room, espescially when you're not here."  
"I'd crowd you in, but we have work to do. Come on, Max, get out of bed."  
"Nope," said Max. "I'm the king of this comfy kingdom and I stay as long as I want."  
"Things didn't go very well last time you were king." Sam sat on the edge of the bed.  
"That was then, this is now," Max said.  
"Come on, numbskull, you need to get up." Sam took hold of his arm but Max resisted. "I'll let you get the phone when the commissioner calls."  
"That's a lie and you know it," Max said. He retracted his arm and returned to his giant blanket burrito.  
Sam thought for a second. "We could go visit John," He said after a moment's consideration.  
Max's ears visibly twitched at that, but otherwise there was no response.  
"I'll let you bite the scalp of a perp?"  
"I haven't had a proper breakfast yet, Sam."  
"We could go see what the Geek is doing."  
"She showed me her latest project the other day already. I know what she's doing."  
"We can go see what Bosco is doing?"  
"That requires going outside. A lagomorph like me can't survive in this cold."  
"Aha," Sam said, "So you're staying in bed because you're cold."  
"Yes, Sam, I am. Now let me go back to being warm and unbothered."  
Sam thought for another moment. What as a good way to get Max out of bed even though it was cold? A very hard thing to figure out, since he didn't wear clothes. Sam could just make him wear some winter gear. Like when they were kids, over-bundled up by their mothers and then released freely into the world to build snowmen and go sledding and have snowball fights.  
Sam got an idea.  
"Say, Max..." Started Sam.  
"I'm not listening," Max said, from underneath a huge pile of blankets.  
"How would you like to start a neighborhood snowball fight?"  
Max popped his head out of his blanket fort. "I'm suddenly listening. Go on."  
Sam pet Max's head. "We could invite everyone on our street-Sybil, Bosco, Flint, heck, even the Geek- all for a day of plain old winter fun! It'll be just like when we were kids."  
"Except that now we're adults and we're playing with people we have actual genuine connections with rather than whoever else was out because their parents didn't want to take care of them! It'll be loads of fun!" Max jumped out of his pile of blankets and rushed over to the closet to get his winter gear on.  
Sam walked over and dressed up in winter clothes as well.  
"Oh Sam, I'm so excited. We can team up and build a huge snow fort and stockpile snowballs to annhialate passers-by with! I can put rocks in them! It'll be so beautiful."  
"Maybe hold off on the rocks, little buddy," Sam said, "The streets aren't cleared yet and ambulances are expensive. We want to keep this activity spending free."  
"Fair point. We need the money to pretend to pay our rent with!" Max finished getting dressed and rushed out the door. Sam lumbered along behind him, smiling and shaking his head at the fast-changing mind of his partner.

**Author's Note:**

> Usually my works aren't this short, apologies. Also I know I tagged this as Max/Sam but I feel like it could be interpreted with or without the romance. (Personally I ship them so the tag is there.) Thanks for reading!


End file.
